You Were Never in Control Anyway
Remember when Harry Potter took off on Buckbeak, or the first time Astrid got on a dragon? They were terrified, holding on for dear life with their eyes closed. Then, something in them clicked. They trusted what was happening...and loosened their grip. When they did, they saw the magnitude of their adventure with eyes wide open. We could feel their fear shift to excitement.
For me, holding on doesn’t look like white knuckles around a saddle. It looks like overthinking, worrying, trying to predict outcomes, and mentally solving things I can’t actually control. And just like Harry and Astrid, I don't always recognize how tightly I'm holding on until something finally makes me open my eyes.
I've had a few moments when I've realized just how much energy that grip was taking. Eventually, I loosen the reins, stop trying to control the outcome, and trust that maybe the Universe has a plan I can't see yet. And almost immediately, I can feel the difference.
You'd think that would be the end of it. Nope. Shortly after letting go, I tend to beat myself up for not doing it sooner. I scold myself for all the time I wasted worrying and wonder what I could have done with that energy instead. Which, when you think about it, sounds suspiciously like another attempt to control something I can't change.
My latest example was a few months ago. I went looking for new ways to live my purpose, which is to motivate others to be brave, adapt, so they can thrive. I was reminded that I love working with students, so I started the process of going back to the University part-time. As is typical, the paperwork and bureaucracy have been frustrating, reminding me why I happily left it all behind over a year ago. It sent me down a rabbit hole of doubting my decision to split my valuable time between what is now 3 roles (Prioritize and Thrive Coaching, Becoming, and the University).
Was I taking on too much? Was I distracting myself? Was I making my already-full life harder?
That was it. Time. I couldn't control the process, the paperwork, or how quickly it all happened. But I could control how much of my time and energy I gave to worrying about it.
Yes, I can be pretty hard on myself. But this last situation taught me something. All the energy I spend gripping the reins is energy I'm not spending on the life that's actually happening.
You don't have to know what happens next to loosen your grip on something you were never controlling in the first place.
If you are moving through life with your eyes closed, full of fear and doubt, ask yourself, "Am I ready to let go?" If yes, let's talk. Schedule a complimentary strategy session.
Today is your day, my friend, so make it a good one!
