Being stuck in my head can be a scary and dangerous place for me to be. Seemingly insignificant things become storylines fit for a horror movie. Simple confrontations turn into soap operas from my youth. A tornado of thoughts threatens to destroy my goals, while imagined outcomes become so convincing that I start treating them as facts. Even past decisions become evidence of time wasted and opportunities lost.
And the worst part? When I'm stuck in my head for too long, I'm not just watching these horror movies. I'm writing, directing, producing, and starring in them. Then I act surprised when they scare the shit out of me.
I know I'm not the only one who tells myself these stories.
When we stand up for ourselves or protect our time, we wonder if we're being selfish, if someone will be angry, or if we've disappointed everyone. When we spend money on ourselves, we question whether we deserve it or whether we'll regret it. And when we try something new, we worry about whether we'll be good enough or what people will think if we fail.
We take something that could happen, turn it into something that will happen, and then make decisions as though it already has!
But here's the thing: Not every scary story is fiction. And not every possibility deserves to be treated like a prophecy.
Sometimes changing jobs does mean taking a pay cut. Investing in yourself might not produce the outcome you hoped for. Choosing a different path might mean making a mistake or disappointing someone along the way.
Those are legitimate possibilities, and they deserve consideration. But there's a big difference between evaluating a risk and inventing a catastrophe. Unfortunately, our minds aren't always great at distinguishing between the two.
So, the next time you catch yourself spiraling, ask yourself three questions:
1. What do I actually know?
Not what you suspect, fear, or assume. What evidence do you have?
2. What's a realistic consequence, and what's an imagined catastrophe?
Separate what could reasonably happen from the worst-case scenario you've created.
3. What would I choose if I weren't treating my assumptions as facts?
This is where curiosity replaces fear and intentional choice becomes possible.
Because the biggest problem with these stories isn't that they frighten us. It's that they influence our behavior. We stay in jobs we've outgrown. We keep saying yes when we desperately want to say no. We put off investing in ourselves and abandon ideas before giving them a chance.
And here's the kicker: We become so preoccupied with what might go wrong if we change that we stop considering what might happen if we don't.
The goal isn't to stop your brain from telling stories. It's to recognize when you're watching fiction instead of reality, so you can consider legitimate consequences without letting imagined catastrophes make your decisions for you.
Maybe it's time to get off that comfy couch, turn off the horror movie, and see what's actually happening outside your head. After all, you can't control how every story ends. But you can decide whether fear gets to write the next chapter.
